SNOWMAGEDDON!!
It's seems like once a winter we have the storm of the century. Now I can't lie, when we lived in Michigan, I lived for these storms because there would be reporters on the corners of random suburbs with their rulers all while plows sprayed them driving by 24 hours a day. And I won't even get started on the fact I went to 3 places and there wasn't a single gallon of milk today. I mean, seriously people, you need 10 gallons of milk for the 24-36 hours you may stay in your house. My plan is to just order a pizza. But I love snow storms either way and figure if it has to be cold, might as well have snow to play in.
But snowmageddon isn't the reason for this post (I just really wanted to find a way to put that picture in here). As the mom of an almost 5 yr old going on 13, we are in a struggle. The struggle between being grateful and kind for the things she has and being down right mean and feeling entitled. I am sure every parent has the goal of raising their kid to be kind and gracious and caring and I am no different. I try to keep the girls involved in helping when we do our clean out to donate. And we explain that not everyone is lucky enough to get all the stuff they have, or even the bare necessity at times. And I let them help with volunteering whenever possible, or tell them about anything Bryon or I may be doing to volunteer. But over the last few weeks I feel like I am failing miserable at this part of parenting and I'm not exactly sure where I am going wrong.
Over Christmas Day I noticed mostly Kayla, while loving the thrill of unwrapping a gift didn't take the time to truly enjoy it. Instead we had multiple tear ups over the fact someone else was opening a gift and she doesn't have one. I get it, she is 4, they are emotional selfish humans at this point, but I was in shock because I have never seen this side of Kayla before. Kayla is our kid who I pick up from school or dance and am told stories of how all she wanted to do was color a picture for someone who was sad or she is the first to help out. How can this sweet caring child have this horrible side to her? Am I doing something to feed into this and help her think she is entitled to more than food, shelter and being able to learn?
And it wasn't just that day, again later in the week we had a meltdown because even though Kayla bought the boots of her dream with money she got at Christmas, she had to have the doll Abby got with her money (this may be my fault for sending them on two separate shopping trips). I mean she cried for over an hour that she needed the same doll and then tried to convince Abby to give her the extra money so she can buy the doll also. However, that must have doll has been sitting in the corner of the room since day 2 while the sparkly boots haven't left Kayla's feet. As I sit here and write this stuff out, I realize this is most likely typical 4 yr old behavior, but for some reason I find it really bothers me. I don't want my girls to grow up thinking they have to have everything or they won't survive. I still remember not having a cell phone until I was 19! Now I have 9 year olds in my cycling class who can't put their phones down for class.
But to add to this new found entitled attitude, Kayla has been mean. I mean, the kind of mean where her friends want to go home and never come back because Kayla makes them "nervous". It just tears me apart to see, because this is not the girl I have raised for almost five years. It's a whole new side of her and like I said I don't know if I'm missing something or doing something wrong in my parenting. Or is this just like most things in kids, a phase that leaves us parents up at nights worrying that we are ruining our kids? I have a feeling it is more of the second one than the first, but I can't help but try to figure out what I can do to combat the problem now. Because I fear if I don't start working on this attitude issue now, she will be the mean girl come her teenage years. And no one wants the mean kid to be their kid. I want Kayla and Abby to be the kids who are the first to help others.
Like I said, this is mostly a Kayla issue, with Abby we are just dealing with her stubborn terrible 2's right now. I do seem glimmers of hope with Kayla when she is willing to help Abby or offers to donate some toys. Or when all she can think about at night is how we need to leave some crackers and water out for the dinosaurs who came out of their cave looking for food. And yes, I stayed up and ate the crackers and drank most of the water so her little imagination will continue to think her target dollar aisle dinosaurs must come to life at night.
I just haven't seen much of it lately and it leaves me worrying whether I am doing something wrong?
Sorry I have interrupted Snowmageddon and for those of you around Detroit you may return to your 24 hour coverage. I will leave you with our creation from the snowstorm, we have named him Phil, in memory of Uncle Phil of course.
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