Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Is My Daughter a Gremlin?

Every parent who has gone through the Terrible Twos has asked themselves if there child is possessed at some time or another.  However, I have come to realize there is a much better comparison that goes with this age.  Abby has several characteristics that have left us pondering, is my daughter a Gremlin?  Let us compare the traits of a Gremlin and the traits of our adorable Abby.  First a Gremlin is often bright, bold, and full of energy and happiness. Let's take a look at Gizmo as an example.
I mean let's face it, when this movie came out and we started watching it, we all wanted to take Gizmo home as a pet.  Now let's compare with Abby 
Abby has enough energy and brightness to heat several homes in our neighborhood.  She can sleep a few hours and you won't hear a quiet moment from her for the rest of the day.  She loves making people laugh.  On top of that, isn't she adorable?  Speaking of talking, have you heard the sounds a gremlin makes?  If not Youtube it...now close your eyes and pictures Abby's adorable face making these noises and you have a conversation with my daughter.  Seriously, she is fluent in gremlin talk, because there is no way she is speaking English or any human language 90% of the time. 
  
The next trait I notice these cuddly creatures and my favorite youngest daughter seem to share is that while they are happy, they care very little about rules.  I know, I know most parents can't stop talking about how well behaved their children are.  I'm here to tell you that Abby's general tendency is to do what she wants when she wants and she will hit, kick, and scream bloody murder if you try to stop her.  Abby's older sister, Kayla, unfortunately seems to be on the receiving end of the rule breaking a majority of the time.  I'm surprised she still has hair after the handfuls we have taken from Abby's grip.  So far it's looking awful likely that Abs may actually be a Gremlin...let's continue

As I was watching the movie I realized Gremlins will eat ANYTHING!  I mean seriously they will eat anything.  Which brings me to Abby, who is willing to eat paper, crayons, toothpaste, and even shoes when she feels I'm neglecting her from her feeding necessities. Abby is a human garbage disposal.  There was a lunch not too long ago where she ate 2 bananas, 4 oranges, and 6 chicken nuggets and then asked for a snack a half hour later!  She likes her food and so do the gremlins.....hmm this is sounding fishy now.

If you are a child of the 80's then you know there are 3 very important rules when taking care of your gremlin. 
1. Do not get them wet- Have you ever tried to wash soap out of Abby's hair?  How dare you get water on her face.  At least I'm assuming that is what the screams mean.  
2. Do not expose them to bright light- If Abby is allowed to wake up on her own she wakes up looking all cute and cuddly like Gizmo up there.  However if you attempt to wake up Abby on your timeline and you will get an Abby a little more like this.
Oh sorry, that's the actual gremlin, I meant you will get this. 

I rest my case, my daughter is most definitely a gremlin. 

3. Do not feed them after midnight- I won't even dare break this rule for fear of what else may happen in this house.  

To wrap this up, my daughter is definitely a gremlin....or a two year old. Luckily we get the Gizmo side of Abby a majority of the time.  But we definitely have our moments where, "hilarious mayhem ensues" (I'm guessing that's the movies way of saying mass chaos) in our household because we have obviously broken a Gremlin Rule.  Maybe you are reading this and you have realized you too are raising a gremlin.  I just want to offer some encouragement.  You see Abby's big sister hasn't always been this sweet and innocent.

Yes, Kayla was also once a gremlin. I don't know how or when it happened exactly, but one day Kayla outgrew this stage.  She moved right into the drama queen stage, but that is a story for a different blog. So there is hope!  One day we are going to look back and realize we aren't raising gremlins anymore, but actual kids.  But until that day remember, no water, avoid bright lights, and NEVER feed them after midnight!








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