I need to make a side note here to point out that as you read this you need to pretend I'm writing this blog on Tuesday, January 21st, because as Kayla likes to point out, technically she is still 4. However, I know how hectic our weeks get and wanted to write this after spending the weekend celebrating her 5th birthday.
The past five years with our Kayla have been a roller coaster ride. If anything I have learned I might move out of the country for her teenage years. She is definitely our drama queen. But although she is full of drama and worry over which glittery outfit to wear today, she has a huge heart and I can't imagine our lives without her in it. When I first found out I was pregnant with Kayla (one week before our one year anniversary) I went out and bought a journal. I wrote to Kayla all through my pregnancy and as she has grown up. I record stories of the funny memories and keep pictures in it for her. I plan on giving her this journal when she turns 18. However, I thought I would share my letter to Kayla as she turns five.
A quick side note....I won't lie, I am struggling with this fifth birthday thing. I feel like she is moving into a new stage in her life and as exciting as all of it is, my first born is no longer a baby or toddler (even if she still wears some 2t clothes) and it's hard to accept. I mean she is the kid I made all the mistakes on so by the time we had our second kid I wouldn't make mistakes. That's how it works right? Anyways, here is my letter to Kayla.
Dear Kayla,
I can't believe you are FIVE! Where has the time gone? I feel like we just brought you home from the hospital and laid you in your crib and stared at you wondering what the heck we were supposed to do now? As you can tell we figured it out because you are five and still alive. You are such an amazing girl Kayla. There is never a dull moment in our house with you around. Whether it is you singing and dancing on your desk or just sitting around telling me about how you looked at your boyfriend today. Fingers crossed you remember to talk to him tomorrow. You are so full of life and you bring the best of everyone out.
I'm pretty sure every year I have the same wishes for you. I want you to continue to be the carefree imaginative girl you are. I love when you make up stories about princesses and dinosaurs. I also love that you love to perform. My absolute favorite time of every day is our time in the car together when we both sing at the top of our lungs to whatever song may be on. I wish you would have met my Grandma Askins when you were older because she would be so proud of your love of music and performing. You also love to dance and tumble. Even though you try to tell me you don't like dance class I'm not falling for it. Almost every time we watch a movie you are either in a frog stand or a bridge watching it upside down. I hope that confidence never fades and you continue to want to perform and shine.
You are in preschool this year and even though you have a big love of boys, well one boy, you also love to learn. You now will sit at home and write letters to Grandma or Daron, although I don't think you have ever given him any of the letters. You try to read and spell on your own. It puts a smile on my face. Again I hope you continue to grow and want to learn new things as you get older.
And last but not least I hope you keep going out of your way to be a caring, helpful kid. Over the years there have been so many times I have beamed with pride over ways you have gone above and beyond what is expected to help someone else out. I can remember being told about a kid being upset in school last year and how you spent the morning drawing pictures for him to cheer him up. You share your change with other kids in church so they can get candy as well. And even though you claim most days to not like your sister, you go out of your way to cheer her up and help her when she is upset. I am so proud of the girl you are and hope you continue to grow in those same areas.
I hope you know even on those days when you make me want to pull my hair out (only the gray strands though), I will always love you and I am always here for you. Happy 5th birthday.
Love, Mommy
So there you have it, five years of Kayla! Life has definitely not been boring with her around. She is stubborn yet gentle. She can be put in any situation and she does just fine. I have a special soft spot for both of my girls for different reasons. I talk so much about everything I went through when Abby was born and then hospitalized for almost a month, but I never talk about how amazing Kayla was during that time. As if it isn't' hard enough for a two year old to accept a new sibling into their house, Kayla was thrown into a situation of barely having her mom around. The first few days of Abby being in the hospital, Kayla lived a gypsy life and went from home to home being taken care of by whomever had the time because I barely left the hospital. Then once we had a surgery date for Abby set, Kayla went to stay with Grandma and Grandpa Askins for an entire week. Kayla had never been away from me for more than a night and she was amazing. Once she came back she spent the max 10hours a day in daycare while I was still spending my days at the hospital. Then she normally ended up back at the hospital with me after I rushed to pick her up. And although we definitely struggled with the normal terrible two attitude from her, Kayla was the most amazing child. She knew exactly how to make me smile and laugh during one of the most stressful times I had ever been through. She worried about her baby sister and talked about her being sick and then was thrilled when Abby was finally back home. Through that trial in all of our lives Kayla proved what an amazingly strong and independent person she is and I have no doubt she will have big plans for herself as she grows up. For now those plans are to be a cowgirl who sings on tv Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights. She would like Saturday and Sundays off.
So it's almost here and time for me to accept that she is going to be 5...but not until Tuesday! I'll stay in denial of her growing up until then.
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